White Lotus Teaches Us About Political Divides

A scene from the TV show The White Lotus went viral for how well it captured the social awkwardness that can arise from our political divides. In the scene, a group of old friends are stunned to discover one of them is a Trump supporter. The conversation shifts from light and friendly to tense and uncomfortable — highlighting how political differences can feel like a shock, even among people we think we know well.

Watch the scene here. 

The scene hit a nerve. It was talked about on The View and other shows, and by people across the political spectrum. We did a post about it, which got a big response from our community. Many people called it a “great depiction of reality” and praised the writing for capturing just how uncomfortable our divides can make our social interactions.

Why Political Divides Feel So Personal

The scene reflects a deeper truth about political polarization: we often assume that the people we like or love share our political views. It’s natural to believe that if someone seems like a kind, thoughtful person to us, they couldn’t possibly support the “other side.”  If we find out they do, it can feel like a betrayal — or at least very confusing.

In a previous post, we compared our political narratives to two divergent streams flowing down a mountain. Once you’re in one stream, it’s hard to understand how someone could end up in that other, very distant-seeming stream. It can be a dizzying, unpleasant feeling. The White Lotus scene summons that feeling: how we can have so much in common with other people yet still see the world so differently. 

Both Sides Make Assumptions

After the scene aired, some reactions suggested that such reactions only happen on the left. (One comment on our post read “This is why Democrats lost.”) But this dynamic is present on both “sides” in America (and for conflict in general). Many of us make assumptions about the people close to us — and then are shocked and disappointed when we learn our assumptions are wrong.

Many people, on both sides, struggle with how such realizations will impact their relationships. “If I think their political stances and votes are causing harm, how can I stay connected and close to them?” It’s hard to separate political actions from our views of morality and ethics.

But the truth is that the “other side” often feels the same way about us. They also can perceive immense harm being done by us. They may even believe they are justified in cutting ties with us for similar reasons. For example, there are many ways people on both sides of immigration-related issues can see their opponents as doing harm. (Kurt Gray’s book Outraged! takes a deep dive into how we can reach such different views of who the “bad guys” are.) 

This cycle of righteous moral judgment is self-reinforcing. Our fears and distrust of each other keep rising — and that in turn leads to more justification for taking aggressive actions to defeat our “enemies.” 

The Power of Focusing on the Person 

When we have distorted beliefs about the “other side”, this can lead to more contempt and toxicity. One way to reduce that toxicity is to focus on our relationships. Instead of thinking, “How could someone I respect believe this?” try asking, “WHY do they believe this?” When we start from a place of curiosity and respect, it becomes easier to see the humanity behind someone’s political stance. 

A commenter on our post summed this up beautifully:

When you find out that family or friends voted for Trump, instead of freaking out and becoming “disappointed” in this person and feeling like “you never really knew them,” think instead: I love this person, I KNOW this person, I KNOW they’re not morally flawed, so there must be something I’m missing. There’s something I’m not seeing.

To be clear: this doesn’t mean you have to agree with everyone. It doesn’t mean you have to refrain from debating or criticizing anyone. And yes, sometimes you will decide that someone’s views are so against your values that you can no longer be close to them. 

But sometimes we’ll find that the people in our lives have more defensible, rational reasons for their choices than we assume. Sometimes we’ll find that their stances are built on overly pessimistic and fearful views of the “other side” — just as our views of them may be overly pessimistic. 

The White Lotus scene struck a chord because it reflected something real about human relationships. Political differences can feel like betrayal — but they don’t have to. If we approach these conversations with curiosity instead of judgment, we stand a better chance of breaking the cycle of division.

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