5 Reasons Americans Lost Trust in Each Other—and How We Build it Back

If you spend any time online, you’d think America is basically one bad tweet away from reenacting Mad Max: Fury Road. And yet, if you ask most people in person—at the grocery store, at your kid’s soccer game, or while standing in the world’s slowest DMV line—they’ll tell you they’re not looking for a fight.

So why do we act like we’re at each other’s throats 24/7? Because certain political, digital, and social forces are quietly (and not-so-quietly) conditioning us to trust “our” people and suspect everyone else. Here’s what’s feeding the mistrust machine, and how we shut it down.

1. Misinformation: Different feeds, different realities

Social media algorithms don’t always care if something’s true. They care if it keeps you scrolling (and foaming at the mouth). This makes the platforms a breeding ground for misinformation and conspiracy theories. 

When you and your neighbor start from the same information, you can argue about solutions for taxes, schools, roads—without questioning each other’s basic sanity. But when one of you is working off an AI-generated Facebook post that “proved” wildfires are caused by secret government lasers, the argument stops being about forest management and starts being about whether the other person is delusional or lying.

Basically, we can’t even begin to have a discussion if we don’t agree on what we’re discussing. And misinformation makes that agreement much, much harder. 

Fix: Make fact-checking as normal as checking the weather. Support media literacy education in schools, so the next generation can spot a fake story faster.

2. Media bubbles: Algorithmic tribalism

If your news feed feels like an echo chamber, that’s not an accident. It’s by design. Algorithms serve you more of what you’ve already clicked on. It’s the same story in politics. You get trapped in a media bubble that shows only the best versions of “your side” and the worst caricatures of “the other side.”

Fix: Break the feed. Follow credible sources that don’t align with your political tribe. If you’re a progressive, read a thoughtful conservative columnist. If you’re conservative, check out reporting from left-leaning outlets. Intentionally learning about other perspectives helps us break out of tribal mindsets.

3. Declining civic spaces: Nowhere to meet in the middle

We used to have “third places” where politics didn’t matter: bowling leagues, local diners, libraries. Now a lot of those spaces are gone, or they’ve moved online, which is like replacing your living room with a coliseum full of angry strangers. Without shared, in-person spaces, we lose that in-person connection to each other and mistrust festers.

Fix: Support community spaces or areas where people can connect and have a conversation. And show up to community events. It’s harder to hate someone after you’ve both been humiliated in the three-legged race.

4. Bad-faith politics: Division = $$$

Some politicians have figured out that keeping us divided is the best fundraising strategy on Earth. If you’re convinced the “other side” is a pack of soulless supervillains, you’re more likely to open your wallet. This turns every disagreement into a cage match, and compromise into a dirty word.

Fix: Reward bridge-builders. Look for candidates with a track record of bipartisan work and call them out (in a good way) when they reach across the aisle. Political courage doesn’t go viral as easily as political rage, but it’s how things actually get done.

5. Identity politics: Turning “us vs. them” into the whole game

When political arguments are framed entirely around identity—race, religion, gender, etc.—it’s easy to start thinking the “other side” is your enemy before you even hear what they’re saying. That’s not to say identity doesn’t matter. It shapes our experiences. But when it’s weaponized, it shuts down the conversation before it starts.

Fix: Focus on the what before the who. If the first thing you check is who said it, your brain quietly loads the team jersey and skips the play. Instead, nail down what’s being claimed—the testable, concrete thing—before you peek at the logo.

Bottom line 

We’ve been sold a story where our neighbors are out to get us. The truth is, most of us want safe communities, decent jobs, and a country that works. We don’t have to agree on everything. But if we can break the mistrust loop, we might actually start fixing the stuff that matters.

—Alex Buscemi (abuscemi@buildersmovement.org)