How to Avoid Fueling Political Violence—Even When You’re Angry

The reactions to Charlie Kirk’s assassination have been intense. Scroll through social media and you’ll see the full spectrum: grief, anger, celebration, fear. It indicates how polarized we’ve become—and how fragile this moment is.

Kirk’s death is the latest in a rash of political violence, which includes the assassination of Melissa Hortman (D-MN) and her husband in June this year, the arson attack on Gov. Josh Shapiro (D-PA) in April, and the attempted assassination of President Trump last year.

What we say and do now can either add to that violence or cool things down. This isn’t about agreeing with a leader’s politics. It’s about making sure we don’t become part of the cycle of dehumanization and violence ourselves.

Selective Empathy and Militarized Language

Two dangerous patterns stand out in the response. The first is selective empathy. Some celebrate Kirk’s death, posting “good riddance” or mocking those who mourn. It’s compassion only for “our side,” while the suffering of others is dismissed as “deserved.” But that’s how dehumanization begins—by deciding whose pain matters and whose doesn’t. Once empathy becomes tribal, cruelty becomes easier to justify.

The second pattern is militarized language. On the right, some voices have declared, “The left is at war with us.” This kind of escalation doesn’t just stay online—it risks more real-world harm, especially when others are doxxing people who criticized Kirk while he was alive or expressed relief at his passing.

The reality is that most Americans, left and right, do not condone violence. After Kirk’s assassination, a YouGov poll found 72% of Americans believe political violence is never justified. But the peaceful majority is drowned out as the loudest, most extreme voices dominate the conversation. History shows where this leads: rhetoric that treats opponents as less than human breeds more political violence.

How to Channel Your Feelings into Something Constructive

So what can you do? Start by being honest about your own feelings.

If you feel angry at Kirk’s death, avoid turning that anger into a declaration of war on “the left” or whoever you think is to blame. A literal call to arms only entrenches the same “us vs. them” logic that got us here. Resist the temptation to share this language on social media and instead channel that energy into something constructive: organizing, voting, or even carrying forward Kirk’s own legacy of vigorous debate with people he disagreed with.

If you feel unsympathetic or even relieved, recognize that shrugging off a death as acceptable normalizes the idea that killing is just part of politics. And once we accept that, it’s only a matter of time before the gun is pointed at “your side.” Even if you feel relief, resist the urge to celebrate online. Public glee at political killings hardens divides and can inspire others to share similar feelings, further entrenching us vs. them camps. Remember that you can mourn the death of someone and condemn their killer without agreeing with their views. 

If you feel fearful about what comes next, your fear is justified. Polarization feeds on moments like this. The best thing you can do is model calm language, call out dehumanization when you see it—even from your own side—and keep perspective: The vast majority of Americans don’t want political violence. 

If you come across posts celebrating Kirk’s death or calling for “war,” take a step back, report harmful content when necessary, and focus your energy on conversations that cool things down rather than heat them up. That could mean reminding a friend of the values you do share, asking genuine questions instead of trading insults, or simply choosing to disengage before a thread spirals.

We must also call on our leaders to condemn political hatred. Too many lean into “the other side caused this” framing, allowing it to create a common enemy against which to rally their base. When legislators normalize contempt, it trickles down into the culture and makes violence more likely. Holding them accountable—by writing, calling, or voting—reminds them that their words matter and that most Americans want leaders who set a higher standard.

Deny Violence the Oxygen it Needs to Grow

Polarization thrives when we reduce each other to enemies and stop seeing each other as people. Political violence isn’t inevitable. It’s the result of millions of small choices in how we speak, act, and treat one another.

We can’t control every headline or every extremist tweet. But we can control how we show up. By refusing to dehumanize, by cooling down rhetoric, and by practicing compassion across differences, we deny violence the oxygen it needs to grow.

This moment is bigger than any one leader. What matters now is whether we let anger and hate define us—or whether we channel that energy into building something better together.

—Alex Buscemi (abuscemi@buildersmovement.org)