Some People Are Celebrating Lindsey Graham’s Death. Here’s Why That’s a Trap.

By Alex Buscemi, Editorial Manager at Builders | 6 min read

The responses to Senator Lindsey Graham's death on Saturday have been about as divided as the man's own career. 

Politicians largely thanked the South Carolina Republican for his decades of service, even those who frequently disagreed with him.

Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) said Graham was "perhaps my most unexpected friend in the Senate," crediting their work together on the criminal justice reform that became the First Step Act.

Sen. Adam Schiff (D-CA) added: "Though we did not often agree, Senator Graham was never disagreeable."

But not everyone reached for grace. Some critics condemned democratic politicians for posting tributes at all, equating basic condolences with weakness. When Kamala Harris recalled that Graham was "full of wit, energy, and charm," the replies on X ranged from "You can literally just not say anything" to "Honestly, what's wrong with you?"

The most caustic reactions came from hyperpartisan influencers and the comment sections beneath them. Some went so far as to celebrate Graham's death outright, their cheers often paired with cheap shots at his sexuality.

It would be dishonest to pretend the reasons for the backlash are always petty. For some, the anger is personal. An LGBTQ reader might ask: Why should I care about humanizing Graham? Did he treat me as a human when he voted to deny me the equal right to marry? (Graham’s fight against same-sex marriage most recently included his vote against the Respect for Marriage Act, the law that federally protected same-sex marriage in 2022).

It begs a few questions: Does every politician deserve our grace? Is there a line? And does rushing to eulogize the powerful become a way of absolving them?

To answer those questions, it’s useful to distinguish between extending grace toward a person and agreeing with their actions.

Grace toward a person recognizes that this was a fellow human being, someone whose family and friends are grieving, and that a person is more than their votes. 

This type of civic grace isn’t something a person earns or loses based on their actions. We extend it because doing so stops the cycle of dehumanization that is poisoning our politics. When we strip someone of their humanity in death, we make it a little easier for the other side to strip away our humanity, and on it goes, each side pointing at the other's cruelty to justify its own. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle, but it’s one we can break. 

This is not the same as saying that we agree with a person’s actions. Acknowledging someone's humanity never requires erasing the truth about what they did. We can hold both at once: he was a person, and his record on LGBTQ rights caused me real pain. Both are true. Neither cancels the other.

Which brings us back to the people cheering.

However we felt about Lindsey Graham's politics, celebrating anyone's death is exactly what opportunistic, divisive leaders and hyperpartisan media figures want from us. It trains us to see the other side as less than human, and once we’ve done that, they've got us. Our fury is their business model. It fuels the fundraising emails, the viral clips, the follower counts. 

A humane response makes nobody a dime, which is exactly why it's the rebellious choice and the Builderly one.

It's genuinely difficult to extend humanity toward someone we feel has denied it to others. Nobody's pretending otherwise. But it's the only move that actually lowers the temperature instead of raising it and stops the cycle of dehumanization that isn’t just making us miserable, but is also making our government ineffective.

The Builders who showed up best this week were the ones who managed to disagree with Senator Graham completely and still mourn the death of a fellow human being. Booker didn't stop being a Democrat. Schiff didn't recant a single principle. They just refused to let the disagreement erase the person.

Alex Buscemi can be reached at abuscemi@buildersmovement.org